Promises That Must Never Be Broken

During our matching and marriage ceremonies, I ask the
brides and grooms to make promises to each other that
must never be broken. First, a husband and wife must
always trust and love each other. Second, they must not cause any
pain to the heart of their partner. Third, they must educate their
children and grandchildren to maintain sexual purity. Fourth, all
members of their family must help and encourage each other so
that they become a true ideal family. Chastity before marriage
and fidelity in marriage are of utmost importance. This is what
I teach so people can live to their highest potential as human
beings, creating and maintaining healthy families.
Marriage is more than a simple coming together of a man and
woman. It is a precious ceremony of commitment to carry on God’s
work of creation. Marriage is the path by which a man and woman
become as one, create new life, and establish true love. Through
marriage, a new future is created: Societies are formed; nations
are built. God’s world of peace is realized with married families at
the center. It is in the family that God’s Kingdom of Heaven is
brought about.
So husbands and wives must be centers of peace. Not only must
there be love between the husband and wife, but the couple must also
be able to bring harmony to their extended families. It is not enough
that the husband and wife live well together in love. All the relatives
must love each other as well. I tell brides and grooms to have many
children. To bear many children and raise them is God’s blessing. It is
unthinkable that human beings apply their own standard of judgment
and arbitrarily abort precious lives given to them by God. All life born
into this world embodies God’s will. All life is noble and precious, so it
must be cared for and protected.
Naturally, a married husband and wife must maintain mutual trust
and nurture their love. The promise I emphasize the most to people
preparing to marry is “teach your children to maintain sexual purity.”
This is an obvious promise, but it has become difficult to keep in
today’s society. The worse the world becomes, however, the more important
it is to strictly keep the promise of sexual purity.
The perfection of human beings and peace in the world come about
through the family. The purpose of religion is for everyone to become
people of goodness who can then bring about an ideal world of peace.
No matter how much politicians may put their heads together, they will
not bring about peace. Formidable military power will not bring peace.
The starting point for bringing about peace is the family.
When I first arrived in America in 1971, the wind of promiscuous
free sex was blowing across the country, and the entire society was in
the midst of confusion. Young people who had received wonderful
educations were being destroyed one by one. Sexual immorality was
so bad that it was becoming the norm. Sexually transmitted diseases
were beginning to skyrocket.
The seriousness of the problem was compounded by politicians,
academics, and clergy. They knew about this problem, but most of them
ignored it. They tried to look away from the ugly reality because they
themselves had not maintained sexual purity. People who are not sexually
pure themselves cannot force their children to be so.
The degradation of sexual morality among adults destroys families
and leads to the ruin of children. Immorality and licentiousness in the
personal lives of adults ultimately destroy the lives of their children. The
reason today’s society does not have a level of happiness to match its
level of material affluence is that families are being destroyed. To save
families, adults must first live proper lives. Then, it is possible to raise
children in sexual purity.
The mother is the fortress that protects the family. No matter how
much society may change, the family can stand as a healthy and peaceful
family only if the mother has the heart to sacrifice and serve. It is in
such a family that beautiful children can grow. In educating our children,
what the children see and learn in the family is most important. A
crab that walks sideways cannot tell its offspring to walk straight ahead.
The parents must show a good example. True children come from true
families. Truth is always very simple.
The most difficult aspect of family life is raising children properly. We
give birth to them in love and raise them in love, but they don’t necessarily
grow up the way their parents desire. What’s worse, today’s materialistic
civilization is destroying the innocent minds of young people. Young
people who should be growing up to become responsible adults capable
of extraordinary things are being lost to drugs. Drug-induced states make
people lose touch with their own spirit. Young people who have lost their
spirits eventually can only fall into crime and sexual immorality.
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During adolescence, children think everything should be centered
only on themselves, and so there is the tendency to rebel against things
the parents may say. If the parent does not respond with understanding,
there is the possibility that the child may go to self-centered extremes.
On the other hand, a child in adolescence can be deeply moved by anything
that seems to connect with his heart. Perhaps on an autumn day,
the child will see a persimmon fall from a tree that has lost all its leaves.
The child cannot explain it, but somehow it connects with his heart and
he will smile and experience happiness. This is a sign that God’s original
character is dwelling in his heart.
But if children are caught up in the emotions of love during adolescence,
their perceptions can be clouded and their power of judgment
diminished. When an adolescent boy and girl meet and start talking
with each other, they can feel flushed and there may be a change in
their heart rate. If their minds are not brought into harmony with God’s
standard in that moment, they will surely be moved in the direction of selfcenteredness.
They lose the means with which to control their bodies.
During adolescence, our cells open wide all the doors of love in both
the physical body and the spirit. The desires of our mind and the desires
of our body are meant to become one and function together. When we
acquire the nose of love, we start to love smells that we used to hate.
When we acquire the mouth of love, we start to love tastes that we used
to hate. We want to listen all night to the stories of love. We want to
keep touching the person we love. Adolescents start to think they can
be happy simply by entering into a love relationship.
However, the doors of love are designed by God and are to open only
when the time is right. Children must understand that they need to wait
for the right time. Parents must teach these things to their adolescent
children very carefully. Love is a process by which we grow to resemble
God. Despite what the world may tell us, it is not something to be enjoyed
anytime we please.
During adolescence, a child may want to try really hard to copy the
activity in a thrilling movie. People ask, “What’s wrong with that?” It
is wrong because irresponsible actions lead to destruction. When children
mature and acquire wisdom and knowledge, they can control their
social and environmental experiences and are truly free to do so, but
not during adolescence.
Why do we say, “Do not give a knife to a child”? It is because the child
would wave it around. The child might understand how to cut with a
knife, but he cuts without control. The child might even cut his mother’s
fingers. Because children do not yet fully understand consequences, we
do not give them knives.
The combination of parents not teaching their children the value of
purity and children rebelling against their parents leads to broken families.
Because of this, societies are being broken. Because of this, nations
are being destroyed. Because of this, humanity is being destroyed.