The True Meaning of Marriage

International and intercultural marriages are the quickest way to
bring about an ideal world of peace. Things that would take seemingly
forever can be accomplished like miracles through these
types of marriages in just two or three generations. People should
marry across national and cultural boundaries with people from countries
they consider to be their enemies so that the world of peace can
come that much more quickly. A person may hate people from a certain
country or culture and think he never wants to set eyes on them. But
if someone from that country becomes his spouse, then the person is
halfway to becoming a person of the new country. All the hatred melts
away. If this is repeated for two or three generations, the roots of hatred
can be eliminated.
White and black people will marry each other; Japanese will marry
Koreans and people from Africa. Many millions are entering into such
international and intercultural marriages. A completely new lineage is
being created as a result. A new kind of human being that transcends
white, black, and yellow is being born. I am not just referring to marriages
across international boundaries. The same is true for marrying
people from other religions or denominations. In fact, marriages
between people of different religions are even more difficult than international
marriages. Even if two religious groups have been fighting
each other for centuries, it is possible to bring harmony between them
by having their followers marry each other. In such a marriage, one
spouse will not close himself off from the other just because she was
raised in a different tradition.
It is most important to teach young people about the sanctity and
value of marriage. Korea today has one of the lowest birthrates in
the world. Not to have children is dangerous. There is no future for a
country that has no descendants. I teach young people that they should
remain sexually pure during their youth, receive the marriage Blessing,
and then have at least three children. Children are blessings given to us
by God. When we bear children and raise them, we are raising citizens
of the Kingdom of Heaven. That is why it is a great sin to live immorally
and to abort babies conceived in this lifestyle.
We marry not for ourselves but for the sake of our partners. When
looking for a spouse, it is wrong to look only for a beautiful person or
for a person living well. Human beings must live for the sake of each
other. We should apply this principle to marriage, too. No matter how
uneducated or homely your prospective spouse may be, you should
marry with a heart that you will love him or her even more than if the
spouse were educated and beautiful. God’s love is the most precious of
all blessings. In marriage, we receive that blessing of love and put it into
practice in our own lives. We must understand this precious meaning of
marriage, conduct our lives in marriage in the context of true love, and
bring about true families.
World peace is not such a huge undertaking. It takes peaceful families
to create peaceful societies and eliminate conflict among countries.
This will lead to world peace. This shows the importance of families
that are intact and the immense responsibility such families must
bear. The thinking that says “It’s enough that I live well and that my
family lives well” is completely alien to me.
Marriage is not something that involves just the bride and
groom. Marriage creates a relationship between two families, and
it brings reconciliation between clans and countries. Each accepts
the other’s different culture and overcomes the resentment and
hatred built up through history. When a Korean and Japanese
marry, it contributes to reconciliation between the two countries;
when a white person and a black person marry, it contributes
to reconciliation between the two races. The children of such
marriages represent harmony because they inherit the lineage
of two races. They represent a new beginning for humanity that
transcends the races. When this continues for a few generations,
division and hostility among nations, races, and religions will
disappear, and humankind will become one family living in a
world of peace.
In recent years, more and more Koreans are marrying foreigners,
and we see more families with people from different nationalities
and religions. Koreans have even coined a phrase for it that
means multicultural families. It is not easy for a man and woman
who have been raised in different cultures to create a family and
live with love for each other. Particularly in Korea, which traditionally
has had a homogeneous culture, the partners in such marriages
need to make extra effort to understand and care for each other. The
reason our members who enter into international and intercultural
marriages succeed is because they live together centering on God.
Various social welfare groups in Korea try to encourage the success
of multicultural families by offering programs that teach Korean
language and culture. Such efforts will be useless, however, unless our
concept of marriage changes. Whoever thinks, “Why did I marry this
man? If I hadn’t married this man, I would have had a better life,” is
setting the tone for a marriage that will be hell. Coming to a correct
understanding of marriage is more important than learning Korean
language and culture.
Marriage is not a simple matter of a man and woman of marriageable
age coming together and combining their two lives. Marriage is something
built on the basis of sacrifice. The man must live for the sake of the
woman, and the woman for the sake of the man. As you continue to live
for the sake of your spouse, your selfish mind disappears completely.
The heart that seeks to sacrifice this way is the heart of love. Love is not
a man and woman meeting each other and having a good time. Love is
offering up your life. If you marry, you must do so on the basis of your
determination that your life is for your spouse.